Last night in NYC after checking out the Trump Towers garrison and realizing I won’t be the next Secretary of State, my only thought was to run.
As I blazed, I realized I was at the epicenter of Capitalism – 5th Ave & 56th St. aka “The Devil Wears Prada Triangle”.
So what happened next was I ran into a crazy white man carrying a big stuffed fish, wearing a cowboy hat was singing, “where is the love?”
Fisher of men?!
I went across the street looked up and saw the Plaza Hotel where rooms are $24,000 a night. I thought, “Bono’s got a like a $100 million Penthouse here. Could I find him and strangle him?”
All 3 guards let me through. All I had to ask them is, “where’s the bar?”
As I approached the “Plaza” bar, I realized my own contradiction – I did not fit in yet I was a white guy with grey hair.
I was privileged. I had been to the Ritz in London. Sat hours in the renaissance room at the Louv. Hiked Manchu Picchu. Flew on a private Gulfstream to D.C. and hung out with Shawn White at the half pipe.
So when the two ladies from England sitting next to me asked, “what brings you to NYC?” I said, “court.”
They looked more concerned than I would have. I said, “it was at the Presidential Debates for protesting.” They asked, “what was I protesting?”
I said, “everything” and sipped my dirty martini straight up in a rocks glass “I ran for U.S. Senate.”
“And what do you do?” Came next.
Eventually they didn’t like me because with a shit eating grin said, “I’m a cross between Jeremy Corbin and Russel Brand” which literally disturbed the one lady.
They were here for the weekend. I was no longer entertaining. They left.
I sat alone thinking it’s cold out besides wanting to drink a lot of beers with Jeremy Scahill there was nothing I really wanted to do in NYC. So I nursed my martini.
A couple my age sat down next to me which freaked me out, because they were a couple and my age which is like so rare to me.
They were from Maryland here to see a Chic Corea concert. I said, “oh nice I saw him in 81.”
Again I was asked why I was in NYC and went through the same blah blah arrest yeah yeah thing.
So Mary wanted to grill me on my politics. I’ve gotten good at learning how to size people up in 60 sec and decide how I’ll beat them in the argument they are about to have with me. Not because I want one. I just bring out the stupid in some people.
So la de da we chatted it up. She voted for Trump and my friend (I hope) Margaret Flowers for U.S. Senate.
We talked about most everything that you’d find boring…our kids, governmental regulations and my bill came.
It was $50 bucks for two martinis!
Mary said, “what the fuck did you expect you’re in the Plaza Hotel?” And looks at me like ‘dumb shit’ which I find soothing compared to the passive aggressive insults in Colorado.
I said, “dude I live near Aspen and Vail shut up.”
She railed on me. Not that having a woman rail on me is so usual but this chic took it from drink prices, to Green Party, back to ‘get the fuck out of here’ to “I had to explain to my daughter’s what getting a blow job in the Oval Office meant”.
Blow job? I’m listening.
Me, “what are you talking about?”
“Bill Clinton, you don’t know what it’s like to tell your 10 year old daughter what a blow job is.” Mary said like it was happening today not in 1998.
Funny enough I’d heard it before. I get it too. I have a 12 year old daughter that she already seen the pictures and knew I’d kill for her. But sorry I wasn’t convinced that’s what took down the Democratic Party.
Yes I know Bill was a lying piece of shit put who isn’t at that level?
She repeated something she said earlier, “I can’t figure you out.”
I said, “look Mary I like you cause I probably grew up a lot like you but in Chicago instead of Baltimore back in the day, day. The difference is there are parents I know who have to explain to their kids why Eric Gardner got choked 13 times, will their mom be deported to Mexico, wanting their Native land back and I lay wake worrying about Muslim kids in refugee camps because the U.S. bombed the shit out of them for 35 years. Oh let’s not forget that 6 million Southeast Asia we killed because America lied about Vietnam. I love my kids too, but what about all the others?”
Bono never came down from his palace and the mood shifted so I did too.
We all know what I’m talking about whether we are white, black, yellow, brown or green.
It’s about who and what we are capable of caring about. Either way no one can care about everything and still be human.
Looks like I’m descending back into the Rocky Mountains from the Heavens.
Peace. Keep Spreading the Love.